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[Press ‘Play’ for a sample of the concert: Duo pour violon et piano]

View from the Théâtre du Châtelet

The view from our seats

Paris Karin and I attended a classical music concert at the Théâtre du Châtelet last Tuesday (2011-06-07). Organized by my friends at Integral Distribution—I know they’re my friends because they reserved us the best seats in the house—Karin and I witnessed Johan Schmidt and Albrecht-Laurent Breuninger play from their latest CD, Concertos & Quatre Mélodies de Jacques-Alphonse De Zeegant, named after a modern composer of classical music.

What follows are my pure, uncensored thoughts as they came to me real time during the show.

19:20 Reserved seat. In the front row. I won’t let it go to my head, but I will let it go to my butt.

19:30 Too bad the soprano has lost her voice and can’t attend the show. (Has she looked under the sofa cushions?)

19:33 Classical music is relaxing because there’s nothing else to do but think. #Synonymsforboring

19:52 I like the slow parts better than the fast parts.

20:12 Wow. This guy is so good he could play for cartoons.

20:19 I wonder if he knows he has a double chin when he lowers his head. I wonder if I should tell him.

20:26 He plays so fast with his pinky that it sounds like 1 freaking note.

20:28 I could play like that if I were him.

20:30 This song is slow enough for me to understand.

20:33 Wait, I know this one… “Lick My Love Pump” from Spinal Tap?

20:47 This song sounds like New York.

20:53 This one sounds like a city I’ve never been to.

21:07 I wonder if these people have surmised that I know jack-all about classical music… Maybe they think I’m writing super intelligent stuff right now. #Andnotthis

21:18 So basically I’m thinking he’s the grandest pianist I’ve ever seen. Oh wait, I saw Marvin Hamlisch at the Kennedy Center once and he’s a pretty big pianist, too.

21:34 Beautiful. The violin and the piano together are like honey rain. Or kebab and fries on a pizza.

21:41 Hmm, is this the same song? Maybe it’s like the guitar solo to “Freebird” or Jimmy Page’s guitar experiment in The Song Remains the Same. Johan Schmidt is the 70’s arena act of classical music.

21:44 Not fair! The pianist needs sheet music and the violinist has to memorize everything. #Cheating

21:58 The pianist gets a page turner on top of that! Double lazy: Won’t learn the song by heart and can’t be bothered to turn his own pages.

10:12 Wow, I didn’t see the time pass. Did you?

Théâtre du Châtelet - Exterior night

Tour Saint-Jacques - Night