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Expanding on the article I wrote for My French Life about Michel “Coluche” Colucci, I’ve translated some of his more humorous quotations to introduce his brand of comedy to a non-francophone audience.

Briefly, Coluche was a popular French comic in the 70s-80s who was famous for his acerbic wit, defense of the underprivileged, candidacy for the French presidency, and creation of the food bank “Resto de Coeur”.

Here is a sample of his style.

Intelligence isn’t rocket science. All you have to do is think of something stupid and say the opposite.

A rubber would be a great political logo: It contains inflation, allows for expansion, limits overproduction and provides a sense of security.

The month of the year where politicians lie the least is February; there are only 28 days.

I’d just like to point out to any politician who thinks I’m a smart ass, that I didn’t start it.

Jean-Marie Le Pen [founder of the ultra-right National Front] doesn’t have any Arabic blood. Well…on his front bumper, maybe.

It would be racist to think foreigners don’t have the right to be idiots.

I’m on two diets at the moment because with only one, I wouldn’t have enough to eat.

Bigamy is when you have two wives; monotony is when you only have one.

For 15,000 francs, my shrink got rid of everything I had: 15,000 francs.

An alcoholic is someone who you don’t like and drinks as much as you.

The difficult age for girls is when they’re too old to count on their fingers and too young to count on their legs.

God said, “Share and share alike. To the rich I give the food and to the poor, an appetite.”

Except for gangster or politician, the only job that doesn’t require any qualifications is artist.

[Note: All quotations are by Michel “Coluche” Colucci and translated by yours truly. All photos were taken from the net and are believed to be in the public domain. If anyone has rights to any of these photos and would like me to take it down, please leave a comment below.]

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